Hide the fucking children, it's time for another Twilight movie premiere today. That wonderful time of year when standards for plot in Western entertainment dip lower than Sarah Palin's intelligence level, and vampires sink another six feet into the grave of once-cool mythical creatures. I think the Mayans predicted the end of the world in 2012 correctly, because the fourth Twilight movie should come out around then, in which case the massive hype will create such an epidemic of bad taste that it triggers a worldwide mass suicide, leaving only Twilight fans to crown Stephanie Meyer as queen of the world and swallow all of humanity's achievements in an inferno of bad-fanfic quality writing.

By the way, Edward's sperm shouldn't be living to get Bella knocked up. Try talking your way out of that one, Stephanie. Though you at least gave Edward the sex drive of a dead Catholic guy with AIDS.